Searching for a light, outside of my constant habits of a playful waste money. The dark has become so inviting, serene, alone. Utter bliss, but dark fears light. I crave that immature warmth of someones eyes. Truth, I’m lonely. Normality induces a “fear” of the dark. So just bring a flashlight.
xeno
n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.
Been awhile since I’ve written…
and I feel my mind dragging my chin lower.
What role do I assume, on my feet or under the cover.
Both have failed me in the past.
This soft wind colliding into my window, the damp smell of a storm.
How I fucking envy every little prefect drop, their simpilicity.
These excuses makin me grin from cheek to cheek.
They tell me to turn to the other one, but danger is what i wanna meet.
Loosing grip on reality as the bottle breaks at my feet.
Finally might be able to sleep, but no, They’re back.
These vioces numbing me to the point of self-destruction.
I won’t go back, “It’s all your fault, I loved him.”
I’m slipping again, soft glances from others stab and collide to the ground.
Sharp silver smiling at velvet memories, but those shadows must stay in my mind.
Can’t risk extensive care again, but the mirror is mocking me again.
I see the shadow taking it’s tole, the dark in my heart turning to hatred for nothing, everything.
Snapping at those of past importance, seeing their bodies laid on spires.
It’s worse than it was now, I can feel my blood chill with every beat, my mind stopping.
I Cry, but none hear my pain or screams, they just watch me bleed.
I’m finally trapped.
Behind these solidified walls of pain.
The only thing i know, is the knife in my back being twisted more.
My sweet lil mask is falling from my face.
I suppose i had no real sanctuary from this torment.
Behead the truth, and watch the lies bleed to the floor.
Watching as the bricks fall around me, “Just build another one fool.”
Saying hello to an old friend, how I have missed your touch.
These demons are so loud, please silence them with your sharp tongue.
